I Desire Everything

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars... 

Jack Kerouac

The only problem with asking oneself what options exist, is that the responses might be more numerous than expected.  Now to decide.  I picked my husband, the role of motherhood, a penchant for making, and a reliable habit of dark chocolate all very decisively.  Everything else has been a bit of a gamble.

But I find myself stepping back.  Perhaps I've been asking the wrong questions these last few months.  I was surprised to find this out.  Nevertheless, instead of "where," and "how," and "with what amount of resources, exactly?" I've lately found myself called to the question of "what's really going on here?"  Frankly, I believe I'm starting to grow quite addicted to the honesty of that question.  Fear has been slinking off-stage like a  stage-hand with more immediate interests.  Like, when I finally gave into the idea of minimalism with regard to my/our family's possessions, and have since single-handedly, gleefully, and rigorously supplied many shelves worth of goods to our local Goodwill.  There was nothing strictly dishonest going on before, but that's not the same as cleaning out the entire hall closet down to what I truly, really, madly, deeply...definitely, need.

So now I'd like to know, what do I really need?  What does my family really need?  What are we trying to contribute to the world?  What does the world need of us?